Thoughts on a Saturday afternoon

Why would you be riding around in a open vehicle (standing head first out of a sunroof) while there are million idiots who want to murder you????? That is one question I have today. I feel bad about the whole scene in Pakistan....But let's face it....That region of the world makes Iran look like Frontier Land at Disneyland! Every time I see the dude in his military gear, he looks more nervous than a whore in Church! On another subject.....Why do we see more of Bill Clinton campaigning than his lovely bride Hillary? The Clinton handlers are getting the king of the stump out there to push his wife and get the crowds gathering. Isn't it just stupid how long we drag out our elections? In most countries it is wrapped up in a few weeks from start to finish. We have to hear their lies for (almost) another year until the election. I'm sick of all of them NOW! The Mormon, The religious Zealot, The lawyer with the crooked smile, The half ass actor, The Mayor who has done it all and more......and of course America's favorite gal...Hillary who I despise. Nobody can appear on my Television and make me more angry than her....In the male category it would be Bush & Dr Phil. The good news is ...Larry David announced he is going to do another season of "Curb your enthusiasm" on HBO. That folks is the best thing on my tube and I'm looking forward to another hilarious season. Back to politics, I'm still a Rudy fan....I can't figure out why he did not put some of his war chest money into Iowa & New Hampshire.....He has really lost some steam.

That is all for now.....Later.

Stumptown Blogger.

HEY..LOOK AT ME..I'M AN A-HOLE

I don't know about you but these contraptions hanging from their ear really disturbs me. For some odd reason by owning & displaying such a devise on the head makes them appear (IN THEIR MIND) more important than others....These high tech mobile phone freaks are really on the fast track and have important people to do biz with. Yeah right. If you want to chat on the phone take the damn thing out of your pocket and rap on it! The ultimate creep out is when they are in a Que to buy something and the clerk makes a gallant attempt to communicate with them, while they talk away with the Motorola stuck to their head. These people look so pathetic and are beyond rude. I feel these very important folks should be taken to a camp & be interned with others just like them....or a little water torture would teach em a good lesson. Oh...Merry Christmas.
STUMPTOWN BLOGGER 12/24/07

THE JOY OF DOING BUSINESS WITH CAPITAL 1

I don't want to drag this one out...but a bogus charge appeared on my "NO HASSLE MILES" Capital One Card. The charge was for $386.50 to a company called "Webtrade International" .....To give them the benefit of the doubt I called the phone number to see if I did indeed buy something from them. The first negative-red light-warning sign was they do not answer their phone! CLUE #1 that this proud American credit card holding customer was screwed by some hackers in Texas. So the process begins with a call to the credit card company to remove the charge from my statement. Are you ready for this noise?????

CALL #1 -Hold time 1 hour 20 minutes -(then dis-connected)

CALL #2- I was flipped more times than a Hillary Clinton speech.....was on hold for 35 minutes and then a human did pick up and told me it would go to the fraud division.

CALL #3- This is the call when I received the NEXT statement and the charge was posted again (after 1 month of it being resolved)

This was over one hour wait time at 6am in the morning....AND THEN THEY PICKED UP...and guess what Boys & Girls???? IT WAS A MEXICAN THAT COULD NOT SPEAK ENGLISH.....yes yes yes yes...I punched #1 for English...NOT #2 for Spanish....then there was clicking & no music...no guy saying over & over & over that he APPRECIATES my business..but there are a shitload of people ahead of me... what he should say is this on that message

"thanks for holding....due to our company hiring just the minimum amount of people to take your call so we can reap a higher profit for our shareholders and overseas owners.....You can just sit there and wait until one of our poorly trained employees that get paid $8.00 a month in India decides to take your call and most likely will do nothing for you anyway...."

wouldn't that be great! Well...here is where I'm at with this.....Today after one hour on the phone and being switched twice, a nice girl told me she would look into it & remove the charge while the fraud division gets it again.

I think they just try to wear you out! So after spending hours of my time with these yahoos...and writing a letter over a month ago....I'm sure it will just keep re-appearing monthly. This card is headed for the shredder. You just can't beat American Express! I have never waited more than 5 minutes with them. AND THEY SPEAK ENGLISH.

MAD AS HELL & WON'T TAKE IT ANYMORE......

Today I was in a major regional mall where Macy's has a Holiday store outside of their dept store. I walk in looking for a nice ornament to purchase & notice that on EVERY ornament in the store is a tag hanging that reads "MADE IN CHINA". I mention to this lady standing next to me "Isn't it amazing that everything in this store is made in China!"....She responds "I just accept it now"...Well you know what? I don't accept it. My wife & I are making a big effort to look at tags on merchandise and pass on the item if it is MADE IN CHINA. When Ross Perot was running for President many years ago he was laughed at when he made a big deal about all of jobs heading to China- Mexico- South America etc. I clearly recall Gore sitting there with Larry King and Perot horse laughing at his predictions of America being a consumption country and making squat. Now that I'm making a strong effort in searching out "Made in the USA" labels on goods, it is not an easy exercise! What is made here anymore?
I'm going to create a new web site letting the world know where to find everything from Socks to toys that are MADE IN THE USA. As the famous saying goes from the motion picture network..."I'M MAD AS HELL & WON'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!!
(as soon as my "Made in America" site is up you will be the first to know!)

SOMETHING STRANGE ABOUT THIS GUY.........

You want to like this GOP runner...but there is something weird about ol Huck. He looks more creepy every time I hear this guy open his trap. Yeah I know he is real religious & is a ex Minister yaddah yaddah. That is my first worry! Many of these religious far right bible thumpers can be real trouble in many different departments! We have seen it many times before. Did you know that he is pushing a 28% national sales tax? Yeah....28 that converts to over 30% when the Wall St Journal did the math in Wednesdays edition. It is all yap yap yap of course. They all talk like they will actually get their ideas done the minute of being sworn in to office. We all know it does not come that easy! Hillary the bitch with her FREE FREE FREE health care....Obama with all his vast experience! Thompson looking more like a washed up actor & political hack by the day...Edwards running around with the Used Car Salesman smile.....Uggghhhhhhh..........Why can't this country have a superstar running for office? Someone we can really rally behind? If the election was held today, my money would be on RUDY. I know he has baggage and all that noise, but he is the only one running in the pack that in my opinion has accomplished many hurdles in his career.....What has HILLARY CLINTON done? I just love it when she spats off about how her EXPERIENCE will benefit us!!!!!!!!!! She is pounding that message in every appearance. I think she must actually believe that herself. She learned from the master! But back to ol Huck......He looks like the guy you would see in the back of the adult book store wearing a long overcoat, flipping through a Hustler Magazine. Hey so be it, but do you really think this cat would make a great Pres??? This is the most important election in my lifetime, and I'm not jazzed about any of them. Bush has been a huge disappointment to me, now its clean up time and there is nobody who is a shoe-in. Maybe for once the Convention will be interesting.

THE VERDICT PLEASE.....................(drum roll).......

Wall St Journal, USA Today, Time Magazine....all the major pulps reported that coffee lovers prefer the Java at McDonald's over Starbucks. I just had to try this out! I stood in line with kids screaming, Moms ready to have major nervous breakdowns, elderly folks sitting in the mix of all this madness and clerks who can barely speak English. I made it to the front of the line & ordered one cup of black coffee. The packaging of the cup was actually quite impressive.
And now its the moment to see if all the Mickey D's coffee hype could actually be true! OH MY GOD....It was like drinking black tar that was left sitting overnight. Who in there right mind could possibly think that McDonald's coffee could be better than Starbucks? It was like a step below Denny's....only it had a dark color (Denny's is very transparent and watery if my memory serves me)....but it was so awful I trashed it.....This was after walking in to my shop where my Manager exclaimed " WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT???!!!???? The P.R people at the McDonald's corporation have done a stellar job getting the story told by all the major publications. 5 stars in that department. By the way...I have found a great little family owned coffee shop in my area to make my caffeine stop in the morning. The coffee beats Starbucks and McDonald's by a long mile.

PEOPLE ARE STRANGE

What makes a person stand in line for hours & hours to get into a store to save a few bucks? Oh did I mention that most of those door buster deals are limited to 3 units ....maybe 12? Shopping malls opened at 12:01 am on the bewitching hour of Thanksgiving night! In Portland the I-5 freeway was jammed with people, many in their pajamas! I kid you not. Why would these greedy retail chains put their people through that misery? It shows they could care LESS about the staff with the demand to have Thanksgiving with their family and then drive to a stupid mall and work midnight until who knows when! Don't you think these faceless chain stores could make their quota from 9am until 10pm? I will not support any of these stores. I would rather pay more and do business with a local shop owner that appreciates my business. Every year there are those stories of people shoving each other in Toy Stores, giving the finger in parking lots, even a shooting last year in Indiana. A guy swiped another guys parking spot and he got out of his big ass truck and shot the dude!
OVER A PARKING SPACE! I'm just amazed about the fact of so many people will drive to a mall or super sized store at midnight or 4am or even 7am !!!!!!!
For what?????? To have the experience like the photo portrays in this blog?
Someone said that these cases are like an accident scene on the freeway. Theres interest in the blood & guts of these horrific moments.....Kind of like standing in line at Circuit City for 5 hours to save $50 bucks.

THIS GIRL IS SO OUT

The "Paris" frenzy seems to be over. The crowds really don't care like they did 6 months ago & back. This girl has done NOTHING other than market herself via through a few home made sex tapes. Sure she was a novelty, but to be quite honest with you, I'm sick of the hoopla over this chippy......and a chippy she is!

Her schtick has worn out and she had an extra long run for a circus show. Who is next to be "Hot"? Have no clue, but you can bet that there will be a new one on the horizon soon. Paris Hilton was all about absolutely nothing. At least Anna Nicole Smith could pose? I think you will be seeing Paris with a layout in Playboy soon to re-charge her career. That is my guess. On another subject....I have never found the TV show Mash to be funny. It is depressing to me when I land on that show while cable flipping. Another irritating asshole is Ted Danson. What do people see in that guy? Read today that more people like the taste & flavor of coffee at McDonald's than Starbucks! Could that be really true?

Tomorrow I will walk into a McDonald's and try there Java brewski. Expect a blog on this subject soon. On TV just now a brilliant judge in Aruba came out with breaking news, that the American girl is most likely dead! REALLY??????

Gee I thought she is alive & just never wanted to return home! I'm joking of course, but have you ever seen a more guilty bunch than those kids who did her in? That is all for now. Saturday night TV sucks. I remember when ONE movie played on Television....NBC had "Saturday Night At The Movies"......We waited all week for that. Memories of the boomer crowd.

THIS STORY WAS NOT IN MY PAPER TODAY!

I was quite shocked not to see any story in my fish wrap this morning remembering JFK's fatal day in Dallas Nov 22 1963 at 12:30 pm. Everyone has a vivid recall of where you were when the news hit that Kennedy was shot while traveling in a open Lincoln. I was Ten years old and was sitting in a classroom when the teacher was interrupted by the Principal as he whispered the shocking words in her ear. She sat for the longest time just staring out the window, we kids knew something was not right. She announced that something awful had happened to President Kennedy and to get our coats on & go immediately home. I knew this was going to be a bad one. We lived in a "Leave it to Beaver" neighborhood that had a ton of old trees where the leaves had fallen and you couldn't see the cement on the ground. I remember like it was yesterday the sound of my shoes crunching the leaves all the way home. We watched the black & white Magnavox TV for three or four days straight. The reporting was award winning when you think that the three networks did not have the technology they have today. Just when we got adjusted to the shock of this young President dying by gunshot, we were blown away while watching Jack Ruby step out of the shadows in the Dallas Police garage and plug Lee Harvey Oswald in the stomach, live on our Television!!!! We were all sitting around glued to this new addition to the biggest story in my lifetime. I have been asked if 9-11 was a bigger deal (especially asked by young people that were not around in 63).....I still feel the Kennedy Assassination was the #1 story. Sept 11th was a doozy for sure but the nation in 1963 had so much hope for the future. Here we had this dashing good looking guy as President with a story book family that followed old man Eisenhower and that weasel Nixon. Who knows where we would be today without the Nov 22nd day in Dallas? Today marks the 44th year since the event. It was sad not see a story in todays paper.

PHOTO OF JOE ALBERTSON

Joe ran a tight ship when he was alive. He strived to give customers good service & build clean-attractive stores. Joe has been gone for a while. Today Albertsons is owned today by the Mormon Church! I find it odd that the Church allows booze, smokes and condoms to be sold in their grocery stores.
Anyway...The stores Manager called me and sounded quite defeated on the phone. He had the tone that said "Yeah I agree, but I'm stuck with a bunch of idiots and there is not much I can do about it. This will be my final blog on Albertsons and my beyond horrible experience there....But I will leave you with Joes story which is pretty darn amazing.


Joseph A. Albertson, 86, Creator Of 651-Store Supermarket Chain


By WOLFGANG SAXON
Published: January 22, 1993
Joseph A. Albertson, who took a chance on an Idaho grocery store more than half a century ago and parlayed it into one of the nation's largest supermarket chains, died Wednesday night at his home in Boise. He was 86.
The company he created, Albertson's Inc., based in Boise, said only that he had died after a long illness.
Albertson's now operates 651 stores in 19 Southern and Western states and has 70,000 employees. With annual sales of more than $10 billion, it ranks as the sixth-largest food and drug retailer in the country.
Mr. Albertson's own wealth kept pace with the growth of his company. Last fall Forbes magazine estimated that he was the 80th-richest American, with a net worth of $930 million. Started as a Clerk
Mr. Albertson, a native of Yukon, Okla., grew up in Caldwell, Idaho, and started his career as a clerk at a Safeway store there in 1927. He moved up the ranks until he was overseeing 16 Safeway outlets.
Then, in 1939, he pooled $4,000 of his own money with $7,500 borrowed from his wife's aunt and, along with two partners, bought a grocery store in Boise.
That was the start of Albertson's. The company earned $10,000 in its first year and promptly branched out to two other Idaho towns.
Buying out his partners after World War II, Mr. Albertson proceeded to build the company into an empire. A stickler for quality, value and service, he helped introduce America to the concept of a complete one-stop, self-service supermarket. By the 1960's, Albertson's had grown into the country's 25th-largest food retailer, familiar to shoppers in Southern California, the Pacific Northwest and Mountain States. Gave to Many Causes
Mr. Albertson gave up the chairmanship of the company in 1976 but remained active as a director and major shareholder until his death.
As a young man, Mr. Albertson studied business for two years at the private College of Idaho. The college, a principal beneficiary of the many millions of dollars that he gave over the years to various causes, has since been renamed Albertson College of Idaho.
In 1930, Mr. Albertson married a college classmate, Kathryn McCurry, who survives him. A 41-acre park in Boise, donated by them, bears her name. Also surviving are a daughter, Barbara Jean Newman of Boise; a grandson, and three great-grandchildren.

NEVER SHOP HERE

My last blog had the phone ringing & e mail blasts....A good pal calls me & tells me this horror story...He shops the same Albertsons in Lake Oswego Oregon on a Sunday morning. He drove there with his Daughter. They were the only customers in the store & selected items they had on their list. The cart was about 1/4 filled. They go to the check out & begin pulling their goodies & laying them on the mini-tram so the clerk can ring them up. A pimple faced kid walks up to him & firmly says "This is for 5 items or less, move your stuff over here" (to next station)......He says "Wait a minute, NOBODY is in here!"
The clerk is relentless with his mission to not ring them up at the quickie check out. They argue.....My pal explains to this moron that in the time they had words, all of his stuff could of been rung up! The clerk must of had water torture during his training to never bend the rules because he would NOT ring that sale. Just like your Stumptown Blogger...my pal will never step foot in any Albertsons. Years ago we had just a few choices, Fred Meyer, Safeway, Kienows, and yes the chain Joe Albertson built into a empire. Today we don't need any of these stores. Whole Foods, New Seasons, Market of Choice and yes that old haunt that is still kind of retro cool Wizers. Screw Albertsons.

ONE OF AMERICA'S WORST SERVICE COMPANIES

It was a long day.....appointments started at 7:30...go go go all day.Made a stop at this faceless chain grocery store at 7pm to grab a few bottled waters and few other things......I walk over to the "fresh to go counter" and there is one girl standing at the end of the so called fresh case talking on the phone. I can hear her loud obnoxious voice yapping about some party she attended the night before. She looks right at me while laughing and whooping it up to a friend on the company dime. I walked away in disgust & made a loop back with my cart to see if she would hang it up and sell me some shit in their case (looked like shit...believe me)......She now turns to the wall so she does not have to face me! I could almost feel that vibe coming! I pipe up and say (quote word for word) "HEY YOU....HANG UP THAT PHONE AND HELP ME"....She then turns to me like I'm a leper and yells "NANCY ...COME OUT HERE, THERES A GUY OUT HERE"......Then here comes this heffer who looks like whats missing in the tubs of shit is in her stomach cavity.....she says "yeahhhhh what can I get ya".......I said "YOU CAN GIVE BETTER SERVICE YOU STUPID MUTT"....THAT'S WHAT I SAID TO HER! It would of been a useless excercise to complain to a manager because let me tell you, in this Albertsons in Lake Oswego Or they all could be security guards at the Portland Airport. So I paid and went home. This is exactly why Whole Foods is kicking ass in this town. The stores are clean, the people are friendly and the selection is fresh.....also the prices are full blown retail. I'm more than happy to pay it.

DAVE CHANGES THE CAR BUSINESS

My pal Dave Jachter gave me a tour of his new Toyota dealership in Wilsonville Oregon.

I was really impressed! We all know (usually) what to expect driving up to shop for a car.....

Five guys that look like ex cons smoking cigs & wearing Dockers with tennis shoes! Then they attack you with bullshit-lies & more bullshit. Dave has taken all the b.s out of the experience with a staff trained from the ground up. He did not hire his sales staff that would bring a bad culture into his new state of the art building. That was taking a chance but it has paid off with almost a 100% customer satisfaction grade. Let's face it, nobody wants the typical stereotype treatment anymore, but these traditional dealers just can't get it out of their system. Dave has a new out of the box concept that is so refreshing.

I watched the customers on the showroom laughing & enjoying their day buying a Toyota. No push..no shove. What an idea! Finally someone has done it. Say hi to Buddy the bull when you go out! Its also cool that Wilsonville Toyota is a one price dealership. Dave never has to advertise non stop sales, because there are none. Everyone gets the same deal...the best deal from the start. My hat is off to Dave & the staff.

DREADING THE TRIP

Oh no....It is not the TRIP...It is the trip to the AIRPORT! If I had anxiety pills, believe me I would take a double dose before leaving. Imagine if your job called for travel 2-3-4 times a week! It could drive a sane person postal. Just look at this photo I grabbed off Google. This picture says a 1,000 words about the dog & pony show going on at Airports all over the world (other than Tel Aviv that has REAL security).......You see a sketchy person in line and they pull over Grand Dad to work him over. I also love it when they all chat between themselves and are not even looking at the screen as the luggage floats down the ramp. Most appear to be human rejects from the American work force. Sorry folks, I write with an honest pen (keyboard).......Just the whole experience is a bummer. Before the towers came down I really looked forward to travel. Today it is one of life's most frustrating moments and such a waste of time with the lines & working all the wrong people over. If the Government wants the real meal deal, they should copy the El Al Airlines model of security. With that comes less flights! They could never pull it off with the amount of planes coming & leaving. The entire culture of travel would have to be changed. I will say that our Airport (Portland Or) is one of the nicest in the nation. Have you waited for a plane at LAX in the Alaska section lately? It is like waiting for a Greyhound in the 60's. It is filthy & dirty and the noise from the announcements (that you can't understand a word of what they say) is deafening....Horrible terminal. The worst! Vegas has a cool airport and so does the Twin Cities. But all in all....its a crap experience.

SNAKEOIL SALESMAN #1

The minute this guys phony mug appears on my TV screen...it's a mad push to grab the remote out of my wife's hand or scramble to locate gods greatest invention on the floor (usually under the couch!).....This guy irritates the hell out of me. Can't you see this ass selling used cars? He has made MILLIONS off ignorant housewife's believing in this guy because Oprah told them to. I have been doing my Columbo routine and checking the famous Dr Phil out. He has a staff that is not allowed in any way to talk to the press about him. He must have them sign powerful contracts, because even the employees of the past will never talk. But there is always dirt people, and in Phil's case, it comes in the form of a 19 year old girl. In 1988, Dr Phil was reprimanded by the Texas State Board of Examiners of Psychologists for an “inappropriate dual relationship” with his client, and forced to take ethics classes. Dr Phil maintains that the relationship was not sexual, but the girl says otherwise. Dr Phil also has a little bit of an inner snake oil salesman it would seem, in 2003 he got started in the weight loss business, selling products under the name “Shape Up.” Dr Phil's products stated that "These products contain scientifically researched levels of ingredients that can help you change your behavior to take control of your weight."
Oopsie, the FTC didn't think that was very likely true, and launched an investigation, as people who had actually been suckered into buying the products sought to bring a class action law suit against Dr Phil because the products didn't work even after paying $120 a month for them, a suit he settled out of court for the princely sum of $10.5 million dollars. I'm waiting for the BIG story to emerge on this guy. He ranks in my top 5 of creepy people. CREEPY is the word for Dr Phil. He has really picked the pockets of those lonely housewives out there buying into his bag of bullshit.

SCAM UNCOVERED BY STUMPTOWN BLOGGER

I'm sitting up in a cigar den enjoying a cigar when I over-hear a conversation at the table next to me...This guy is telling his pal that he worked at a car wash during the summer and when customers asked for the up-grade polish & wax option, they were told to just push "WASH" because it was ten years ago when the wax container had the wax mix in it. There are 28,000 car washes in the United States....Just imagine the racket many of them have going! How in the hell do we know if were getting the wax?....While were getting WAXED! I took this photo as my car was emerging into the car wash..notice 6 buttons. I have some faith in human honesty, but I would put money on a bet that they just hit WASH. The difference is around $3 bucks between a standard car wash and the added wax. My car never looks any better when I take the sucker punch for Wax. The next time I visit the car wash, I'm going to ask the attendant that pushes the button....which one is it for WASH...and to point out WAX. What are the other buttons for anyway. Am I loosing my mind?

Have you ever thought about this?????

WHO IS THIS MAN?

I FELT 100 YEARS OLD THE OTHER DAY.IN OUR OFFICE WE WERE TALKING ABOUT THE GREAT JOHNNY CARSON WHERE EVERYONE WAS WEIGHING IN ON WHAT THEY LIKED MOST ABOUT THE KING OF LATE NIGHT. ONE PERSON COMMENTED THAT THEY LOVED HIS "CARNAC THE MAGNIFICENT" BIT.....I REALLY ENJOYED HIS CHARACTER AS ART FERN ON THE TEA TIME MOVIE SEGMENT...ANOTHER STAYED UP FOR THE MONOLOGUE AND ALWAYS WAITED FOR THE JOKE TO GO SIDEWAYS.....HIS COMEBACKS WERE ALWAYS CLASSIC. OUR YOUNGEST EMPLOYEE ASKED US WHO JOHNNY CARSON WAS???? WE ALL LOOKED AT EACH OTHER IN SHOCK & AWE. YOU ALMOST BECOME ANGRY AT SOMEONE WHO HAS NO CLUE WHO JOHNNY WAS, BUT THEN YOU HAVE TO GET A GRIP ON REALITY....JOHNNY HAS BEEN NOT ONLY GONE FROM THIS EARTH FOR A WHILE, HE ALSO HAS BEEN OFF THE TONIGHT SHOW SINCE 1992. LENO & LETTERMAN ARE FINE...EVERYONE HAS THEIR FAVORITE....YOUNG PEOPLE THINK CONAN O'BRIEN IS A COMEDY GENIUS. IT IS A SHAME THEY NEVER HAD CARSON TO MAKE THE COMPARISON. YOU MIGHT THINK, WELL...BEFORE MY TIME THERE WAS FRED ALLEN AND JACK PARR. THEY WERE SPECIAL, BUT NOBODY HOLDS A CANDLE TO JOHNNY CARSON. IN A COUPLE OF YEARS CONAN TAKES THE TONIGHT SHOW DESK FROM JAY. IT WILL BE DIFFICULT TO WATCH HIM AS STAR OF THE SHOW THAT HAS MADE NBC MORE MONEY THAN ANY OTHER IN NETWORK HISTORY.

You have to read this!

Robert Goulet passed away a few days ago...He was a great singer & stage performer. He hold's the record for starring in Camelot the most of any Actor or Singer. I always knew he was a world class singer...but had no idea he was such a great person. I received the following email from a good friend.....This was the first time I ever heard about this amazing event in the lives of this terrific family. He would like to not be named in this blog in respect to his Father. Read this and grab a Kleenex please.

Christmas 92 I bought my parents tickets to Camelot starring Robert Goulet for the February show in Portland. Come February my dad was really sick with liver cancer and was home in bed for the final few weeks of his life but he was coherent and really loved camelot and Robert Goulet. Dad obviously couldnt make the show. I called Goulets hotel and he called me > back and we talked. The next morning I picked him up at the Benson and drove him over to my parents house. It didn't take any persuading, he > offered to come. He spent a couple of hours talking with dad, playing the piano, singing some camelot songs and singing some of dads favorite Dean Martin songs. I had told him a little about dad, Korean war combat veteran, two bronze stars at Heartbreak Ridge, big brawling and drinking Irishman etc. He really liked dad. When he left he leaned over, kissed Dads forehead and and whispered "save me a seat next to you if you beat me there". As we left the house and in the car Goulets eyes were wet and it > was obviously tough on him. He gave me a hug and told me what a great old > man I had. We talked on the phone a few times after that and exchanged letters a few times and Christmas cards every single year for the past 14 years. Robert Goulet was a class act and a real gentleman. He gained nothing for himself by doing what he did, and in fact it was obviously very tough on him. But he did it because it comforted people. People he didn't even know and that's the kind of man he was. God Bless Robert Goulet.

Halloweird

Wow...What a day....I'm drained. Let me back up....When I grew up my Brother & I (along with friends) Parents with other Parents did the Trick or Treat thing after the sun set. We schlepped around the hood with our candy baskets and wearing the costumes. It was fun back then. Today the world's stupidest Parents ever are dragging their little goblins around in a MALL at {{{{{{ARE YOU READY FOR THIS}}}}}}??????????? 10 am in the morning! I work in a major regional mall & did not arrive to my store until after noon.....but the staff told me shocking news. At 10am they were walking them in to get candy. I don't get their point about how un-safe it is in their own neighborhood. Where do they live? Baghdad Iraq? They don't know a few nice neighbors that would not think of inserting razor blades in the candy apples? So they drive to a stupid mall and walk into Gaps & Pottery Barns? Ok....so they bring them at night....but by 1pm today the shopping center sounded like the worlds largest day care center! It is just not natural to Trick or Treat in a big mall. The weather in Oregon has been off the charts GREAT.....No rain lately, no ice cold weather.....Tonight is the ultimate Halloween evening. These kids should be smelling the fresh air and ringing door bells of neighbors that can be trusted. I understand not allowing kids to be let loose running around at night with their buddies......but for gods sake.....GO WITH THEM......IN YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD.......Not in a

mall. It just isn't a good taste of Americana. Another thing that pisses me off are ADULTS that trick or treat. The doorbell rings and there stands two or more 6 foot adults. They should be sent to Bush's torture center in Cuba. That will teach em!

I was just thinking today about.........

What happened to the Bird Flu? There was one big rush on buying Tami-Flu to be the only one on your block not choking blood and dying a horrible death comparable to the final chapter in a Steven King horror novel! I was sure sold on the Bird Flu. The media had me really spooked thinking it was the beginning of the end. Did you know which famous person who was on the board of the company who makes Tami-Flu? It was the former Sec Of Defense Donald Rumsfield! Quite a coincidence that this was the same devil who botched Iraq with his pal Cheney and the lackey Pres Bush. We hardly ever hear of the Bird Flu anymore......sometimes a small story will appear on the back pages of the paper buried in the bottom section. Tami Flu raked in 400 million on sales of Tami Flu. What was Rummys cut on that? I figure my contribution was around $400 (and the date has expired now!)........The great flu could happen.....Next time the media beats the drum I will hide under the covers and not pay attention. On a subject not related to Bird Flu Virus at all, let me touch on the former Mayor & Governor of Oregon. If you do not live in Oregon you might not be aware that Neil Goldschmidt was having sex with a 13 year old girl (when he was Mayor of Portland)......This is a story that reads like fiction because his driver (who is currently the big dog Sheriff in town)....was having an affair with Goldschmidts wife Margie!!!!!!!!!!! Nobody ratted him out until it all un-raveled about a year ago or so. Our current creepy Governor also knew all about Goldschmidts fantasy that came true. If you want to read a great column by Portland's best writer Phil Stanford, check it out at www.portlandtribune.com

It is really an eye opener! And they all say Portland is a sleepy little town! Not.

GET READY TO RUMBLLLLLLEEEEEEE..............

A month ago or so I had this nasty Flu bug and stayed home for 8 or 9 days.....What do you do while fighting a nasty virus like this? Watch your wonderful TV with over 200 channels (75% plus crap).....But I got addicted to watching guys beat the brains out of each other. The sport has many different titles such as "Ultimate Fighting""Bodog Fighting" "Kickbox" etc. It comes in different flavors from in a traditional boxing ring to a cage.
I found the knock outs to be over the top..You kind of wince at it on the re-plays. The difference between WWF wrestling and this....is that THIS is REAL. Now lets fast forward a month and here I was drinking my coffee at Stumptown Roasters (downtown Portland) when an advertisement caught my eye about this form of ultimate violence coming to my town. I drove down to the Rose Garden Arena and bought a pair of tickets.
This would be a perfect Father & Son event! I called my Son Tyler and asked him if he wanted to go with me.
I knew for a fact that my wife would have no part in this blood sport. I was shocked to learn that Tyler knew so much about this sport which is one of the fastest growing in the nation! We stopped for some sushi before the fight and paid Paul Allens parking ransom & took our seats. The crowd was huge in this big venue. The show these promoters put on is stellar.....The ring announcer was as good as the best at Madison Square Garden......
And then it began...The first of 12 fights. The first few matches on the card were local guys trying to make their mark in this sport. They were great because of how hard they tried to kill their opponent. It is one thing to be under your warm covers in bed with a tissue in hand watching it on the tube....it is a whole lot different being there and hearing ribs crack and punches to the nose. It is also a whole new game seeing the amount of blood that flows. By the end of the evening the mat was splattered with blood flow! I kid you not. It was great when the ring announcer built up the bios of the fighters and they made their way through the arena with their corner crew carrying a bucket! That's it folks.,..just a bucket. These guys are really tough when they go nose to nose as the ref lays down a few rules...and the bell rings & they start kicking-punchin with their hands-knees & legs.
It was like when the old Batman shows aired and on the screen appeared "POW" "SMACK" "OUCH!"....remember that? One guy took it two rounds and never hardly landed a punch. The opponent plummeted him to the point of his mouth piece hanging half way & there it came...LIGHTS OUT! I thought he killed this unfortunate chap. He layed there for a while with blood coming from his ear.....as the crowd thundered with a deafening noise. They had two intermissions for the tough monkeys in the crowd to tank up more on beer.
The yelling from the crowd was worth the price of admission. It was also interesting to see young ladies who wanted to touch the fighters as they left the ring. You would be shocked at the Bodog groupies that show up for these fights. Their skimpy gloves are like skins & when they walk from their fight most have blood & guts on their hands....These girls wanted to shake their hand & get high fives! It was a real experience. Would I want to go back again and see more. Your damn right I would.

www.bodoglife.net

to learn more!

I never attended a University so this is in no way a jealousy thing towards all you graduates out there. The college thing was not meant for me and I really do not regret not going. To be honest....I detested every minute of school starting in pre-school! But here is what really gets me.....grown ups that hang college or professional sports team flags from their homes especially on game days. What drives a mature person to hang these stupid reminders of when the beer flow was endless and the parties never were better. But now your 40 plus years of age...GIVE IT UP. Even worse are couples that wear matching team jackets.....or a grown up wearing a team shirt with the players name on the back. I think these guys secretly would like to have a sexual experience with these players. They will never admit this, but I believe it. I don't watch sports. I could care less who wins. It's a game that will be forgotten within hours or a few days. I enjoy ultimate kick boxing. That is a sport that delivers (NOT a happy ending) pain, blood and sensational knock outs. Watching football? You couldn't pay me $100 cash to sit through a game.
Hockey? make it a grand. Golf...no price would be large enough. Sports and College are a match for many people.....Not me. Here's my list of things that make me happy
* Watching Curb your Enthusiasm or Soprano re-runs
* Reading newspapers & great books
* Smoking a cigar on Sunday morning with the Cigar boys at Shilo Inn
* Watching my wife tap dance (very sexy) & her excellent dinners
* When American Idol makes it's return
* Going to the post office
* Going to the Ore Coast (anytime)
* Listening to Sirius radio (channel 75)
other stuff.....but I'm bored now. Have a good weekend and if you hang a college or sports team flag on your house...take it down.

LBJ WAS ONE OF A KIND

Was browsing through a off beat magazine the other day and came across a feature story on Pres Lyndon B. Johnson who lived in the shadow of the young charismatic Kennedy. Johnson wanted to be remembered as the greatest President who ever lived. Well...that was before he was trapped into the throngs of the Viet Nam war. The story gets deep into LBJ's closet of secrets. Let me touch on a few highlights........Johnson was really into his oval office bathroom. He held many meetings with his staff in the chief head. Once he even relieved himself on a leg of a Secret Service Man. He loved dragging in the meek staffers to go over important (for your eyes only) documents while he was crapping on the can. When Johnson was visiting his ranch in Texas, he would invite friends down for a joyride in his car. He would drive down a steep dangerous incline toward a lake...He would yell "Shit ..the brakes..the brakes".....while his passengers screamed in horror as the car dropped right into the deep water! Johnson never told them he was the proud owner of the Amphicar, the only amphibious car ever mass produced for civilians. When his political pals would stop by and gossip about JFK's female conquests, he would pound his fist on the desk and scream "Why I had more women on accident than he ever had on purpose" He might be right, Johnson had a stable of young gals, many staff members that had limited talents!

LBJ loved helicopter rides, so much that he had a vinyl helicopter seat in the the oval office. President Johnson was a real ego maniac....He had EVERYTHING monogrammed with his famous LBJ initials...towels, all of his french cuff shirts, even his underwear. LBJ was a real unique President. When he decided to not run for a full term he went into a state of depression.

The war took the air out of him. He lived out the rest of his life on the Johnson Ranch and was not very visible to the public. I think we will find our current President following LBJ's post Presidency in the same state of mind.

NEW MACYS SUCKS

We were excited to see the new Macy's Dept Store downtown. They had a pre-opening party tonight. We expected the store to be jammed .....It was quiet.

The store has zero magic. It is a white walled box with stuff hanging on displays. It was depressing for me, as I grew up going to M&F as a kid. I thought they would pull out the stops with a cutting edge store design. It is like a Mervyns with better lighting. To be honest, the lights are so damn bright in there it is blinding. They kept the clock and I think a few escalators are from the hey days. The other mind blower were the show windows. No thought was put into them. None! Another big faceless chain. Would never make the trip back into the meth zone to shop there. Why? They have made it totally blah.

TIMES ARE A CHANGIN.....KIDS!

I was cruising down the highway this morning listening to Sirius Satellite radio

(oldies channel) with Cousin Brucie Morrow hosting a terrific countdown show.

The Fab 4 came on with "I want to hold your hand".....For some reason, I never get tired or burned out singing along to those lyrics that pretty much changed the world in 64. I scanned the channel and it landed on a Rap station. Sirius has a host of them, and I have no clue why since they sound identical in sound & presentation. The lyrics had something to do with murdering a cop and slap bitching a girl. Just look at the world of difference of the two photos taken 43 years apart from each other! To show you and verify that the world has slumped to an all time low...I have printed the difference in lyrics from the days we were holding hands, happy together & dancing to Louie Louie and today....killing the cracker & beating a girlfriend to death. I'm no prude & love all types of music....but I can't listen to that garbage for even a half minute. It is pure certified shit.

1964:

I feel happy inside,

It's such a feeling-That my love can't hide,

Yeh you got something,

I think you'll understand,

I want to hold your hand

2007

Cracker in my way,

filling his body up with lead,

slitting his throat, watch that body shake

sittin on the dock of the bay with my AK

OR THIS DIDDY WE CAN SING TO;

Time to prey on old bitches who drive Mercedes,

You should of heard that bitch screaming,

while I stick that gun in her crackers mouth,

cops can't stop it, mass hysteria, led by this motherfucker menace,

grab that glock and knock it in her head...pop pop pop...yeahhhhhhh.

what happened to this.....

So happy together...so how is the weather....

me and you..and you and me...

no matter how they toss the dice, it has to be the only one for me....

so Happy Together.....

or

Two girls for everyyyyyy boyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!

Jan & Dean really were terrific were they not?

WANTED....IN 5 WESTERN STATES FOR BEING DIRTY

Yeah this is my pal...Guess what his nick name is? DIRTY DAVE (The Record Slave)...My good friend pictured above has been a record collector since he was a kid. Today this freak has a master collection of over 90,000 records. He also does mobile DJ shows and is one of the only reliable guys doing it. He has done hundreds of shows for weddings, Bar Mitzvahs, birthdays (you get the idea!)......Dirty loves the Taco House and we meet there now & then & he always has the exact same thing.

Dirty is one street wise dude. He can see a con artist from a mile away......Dirty will not wear a coat when its 30 degrees out. When I took this mug shot of him, he knew I was up to no good.....I play practical gags on Dirty all the time. I can't get Dirty to try different foods....He is very set in his ways. Dirty is a Grand Father now.....Has a real cute little girl. Dirty & his Wife are enjoying that
"oooooooh she is so cute" stuff. I have had dreams of Dirty as a guest on a game show where Wink Martindale asks him " In 1963 a rock band was selected over the Beatles during an audition to be signed on a record label...which band was it for One Million Dollars.......(then the clock ticks & Dirty puts his finger to his forehead thinking....and belts out...THE TREMELOES! and the crowd goes nuts & confetti drops from the studio ceiling!!!! You see....Dirty is a walking encyclopedia when it comes to the rock n roll....You can ask him what is the flip side of a 1950's Buddy Holly 45 RPM and he will nail it....and he will add where the "A" side charted and how many weeks it made it after going hit bound. When I was doing a oldies show on the radio, my friend Dirty showed up for almost every gig.....bringing boxes of songs in that the radio station never had....Listeners would love trying to stump him on trivia....He became a big part of the show...and when Dirty had to do a mobile dj gig, the radio show lost it's steam. Dirty Dave is a special pal. Hey it was the Tremeloes right Dirty?

ROSEBURG OREGON....YOU ROCK!

If you live in the liberal-socialistic state of Oregon the photo you see above is a common sighting at just about any freeway interchange that includes a stop by the happy motorist. These clowns actually OWN their real estate. That is why you see the same losers day after day taking in an average of $50 to $100 cash a day. On the down side that's $1,400 non taxable cash in the pocket per month.
Many of these people who panhandle at off ramps are managed by what is called the "Coin Mafia".....The ringleaders have vans and pick up their professional panhandlers & drop them off at their locations. If another beggar wants in on that real estate the bosses will beat the shit out of them. Ever wonder why the same faces & signs are at the same locations day after day...week after week? Ok...today a story in the Sunday paper made me grin from ear to ear...In Roseburg Oregon they have become the first SMART city to pass a new ordinance to stop this ridiculous racket. Ready for this? If the DRIVER hands the panhandler coin....they get the ticket! Yahoooooooo! I get more pissed at the idiots who hand these racketeers cash out of their window than the panhandlers themselves! What fools these people are. Violators will get a $75 ticket handed to their stupid asses. One panhandler said that before this came into effect, he was getting $20 bills all the time...now he is lucky to get a buck. The day Portland City Hall follows this genius program will be the day hell freezes over! The socialist commies that run City Hall would think this is picking on the homeless! I'm writing a letter of thanks to the leaders in Roseburg. Trouble is...now all the creeps will be trucking to Portland and jumping on any un-used real estate!

Here is today's fun fact:
Walt Disney named Mickey Mouse after Mickey Rooney, whos Mother he dated for some time. Walt was also the first original voice of Mickey.

SAY GOODBYE TO THIS TRADITION!

I love going to the Post Office, yes I admit this with great anticipation for just strolling in & seeing the staff that have worked there for years. I like it when there are 20 people in line and Eddie & I talk about the latest Jazz album that just came out.....or his views on Hillary Care! They get pissed, but they are the ones that don't know Eddie. He thinks she is the biggest fraud out there, you see Eddie is a smart guy. This Internet world of e-mails is terrific and serves zillions of people a day (including me!).....but nothing will replace getting a letter in the mail with an old fashioned stamp on it. Theres the mystery of what lays inside etc etc. So here is my point for this blog. I'm at the Post Office the other day and Eddie helps me get this package sealed up correctly to mail to my Son & Daughter-in law down in Southern Cal. It is a real art taping up a package & he could see that I was struggling with it. So he brings out the glue tape and the cup of water to get it done correctly. That's SERVICE folks! We get talking and I ask him when he will be retiring. Eddie tells me that the powers that be at the U.S Postal Service want him to take early retirement. I ask him why (because this place will be lost when this guy goes fishing)......He explains that this Christmas he will be pretty much alone behind the counter & our wonderful Government will be out sourcing most of the Post Offices. He pointed out an example. Up the street we have a grocery store and in that building is a post office annex. But I don't trust Grocery Store clerks with my packages & stuff! It's not that they are dis-honest, but what do they know about the secrets of Postal madness? These people are paid by the Grocery Store to work in this faux U.S Post Office. He said that their master plan is to have machines that Customers will use (they have 1 in there now) to weigh packages, buy stamps etc and have one clerk. But he thinks more machines will replace great guys like Eddie who knows his Customers and loves what he does. Half the time those stupid machines don't even work! So it's coming folks....Post Offices in shops operated by Phil the guy that knows everything about lettuce and pork chops but knows squat about the Postal Biz. How sad is this Blog today? Damn sad.
I asked him if they will hire temp-help workers, he said no way...He is terrified that Customers standing with their big packages for an hour or two will be mad as hell at him! at HIM! You might think that the stereotype Postal worker behind the counter could care less about service, customers etc...But theres one guy that really has a passion for the world of mailing...and that's my Eddie.

BUY YOURSELF A PRESIDENT

Today a young person of voting age told me that he would never vote because it's all based on how much money they receive from never ending fund raising.
I could see his point in many ways....The candidate with the most bread has the best chance of winning. It is sad that this young fellow will not vote, nothing is perfect in this great society but I still think it's the best deal out there. I can also understand how this mentality has started a wave of the next generation. We do not have exciting political people running anymore. Take Jack Kennedy for example.....He told us what was his plan was for the future...He gave a feeling of hope not despair. His Brother would of ended the Viet Nam war....Reagan was a ray of light after the four years of pathetic Jimmy Carter freezing in his White House sweater....Today what do we have to offer? Obama? He is a joke in comparison to the candidates of yester-year. Hillary Clinton is arrogant & in real life very nasty....plus she is a first class liar. One candidate that does not have good camera appeal or any money is Ron Paul....He actually makes some sense & is not afraid to make his claim (what does he have to lose?).....So the apathy has set in America. They are all full of humma-humma.....lost promises and horrible campaigns that are not energizing the country. I can guarantee you that next year when the big important debates begin if American Idol is on, nobody will care to hear Hillary pitch her Govt controlled health plan that is FREE FREE FREE! Shut up you old slut.
Listed below is a link to see where all the cash comes from & who it goes to.
Yeah...they give all that bread for the good of the country. And I have land to sell you in Baghdad

http://www.opensecrets.org/orgs/list.asp?order=A

What is it about Bow Ties?

I received a text message from a close pal today that read " Never trust a guy wearing a bow tie".....I chuckled at that one & shot him back a reply that said "Or guys that say all the time (when trying to make their point) AT THE END OF THE DAY.....blah blah blah...

But then I got thinking about his brilliant comment on guys wearing Bow Ties...For the most part, I try to avoid picking on people about what they wear or how they appear. I'm sure not going to win any Mr GQ awards, yet whenever I see a guy wearing a bow tie, these thoughts flash in my mind.....POMPOUS-CONNIVING-THINKS HE IS SMARTER THAN THE REST OF THE PLANET-NEVER HAD A GREAT SEX SESSION WITH A GIRL.........Honest...that is my read on guys who wear these stupid contraptions. The only guy I liked wearing a bow tie was Orville Redenbacher. He was able to pull it off & it is not easy! That putz on cable Tucker Carlson is the opposite. You hate this guy more just because of his bow tie. Groucho wore a bow tie and he looked great.....I once had to see a nose -ear throat specialist and he was famous for his kooky bow ties. He gave me wrong advise & I called and chewed him out....also told him he looked ridiculous wearing the bow ties.....Sen Paul Simon wore one all the time.....have no clear thoughts on him one way or another. I have no clue who these idiots are in the photo (captured on google)...but let's appraise them left to right...The guy on the far left looks like the most normal of the bunch...good sense of humor & carries a bow tie quite good....The older guy with the Santa beard is very opinionated and you will never change it. The dude in the blue sweater was a big shot in College and still lives through those golden days...On game day he will put up his college flag (another pet peeve of mine)....On his license plate frame it most likely says "Reed College Alumni".....The noodnic on the far right is everything I can't stomach about men wearing a bow tie. That's all for today.

READING BACKWARDS!

NOW YOU TOO CAN READ A NOVEL BACKWARDS!

Very strange thing happened to me today.

My Mom stops in at the office with a good friend of hers. We get talking about our common love of reading books and she let's this out of the bag.....(quote)

"I read the beginning of a book and then ready the final chapter so I know how it ends...and then I go back & ready the book from where I let off at the start"

Now..In no way am I picking on my Moms pal...she is very nice & I got a kick out of talking with her but have you ever heard of such a thing? Why in the world would you want to know the end of a great novel or even a biography or non fiction book. But let's talk about incredible novels like "Water for Elephants" or my latest top pick "The Law of Dreams"{{{HOW COULD YOU SPOIL IT FOR YOURSELF TO READ THE END BEFORE THE MIDDLE???}}}}.......Anyway...I found that to be the most incredible moment of my day today. There is a first for everything I guess, and I'm sure my Moms friend is not the only reader in the world who finds out what happens before you earn that right to finish off the last 20 or 30 pages of a terrific read. What else went on today? Started back at the Gym. It was a good feeling to sweat a little, instead of watching senseless reality shows on the boob tube. That's all for today Boys & Girls....Crowd around the ol computer screen tomorrow for another exciting blog in the life of the Stumptown Blogger.

Sunday Living

Day started out at a local haunt where a group of friends have been meeting for over 10 years...We have breakfast at 8:30 and chat about what is going on in this crazy world...and then light up a great Cigar. You read it right...8:30 AM (almost) every Sunday morning. Then I picked up my beautiful wife & we headed out to a outlet center a few miles from Portland. I like the Brooks Bros outlet shop for slacks.....walked around.....drove a clerk crazy looking at brief cases...I'm almost to the point of stalking luggage stores searching for the right attache case.....This poor kid took everyone of them down & was a great salesman (he knew his product which is rare these days!).....but we walked on him. Then we caught the latest western starring Brad Pitt where he plays the infamous Jesse James. The movie is a long stretch and moves slow. I wouldn't say it is horrible, but it does not hold a candle to 3:10 to Yuma. Westerns are making a huge comeback and this one gets interesting during the final 25 minutes. I want to share something with you about our trips to the movie theatre. We love movies (not at home with DVD'S) .....but in a theatre with popcorn and a soda. I have been taking my Blonde bombshell to movies for over 30 years and not once has she started to so much as finger a kernel of her popcorn until the movie begins. When the Paramount or Touchstone logo appears she will ask "Is this it?".....I'm always honest with her....Yes I say...this is it! My popcorn bag is 1/3 evaporated by then...after all we sat through all those great previews. I enjoy previews, but since we see two movies average a week...it is a bummer seeing the same ones over & over.......like the new Denzel Washington film. They are really pushing that one already. But back to the popcorn .....it really does take tons of restraint not to eat one kernel of warm delicious popcorn. Our day will end with our favorite TV show of all time "Curb your Enthusiasm" which airs at 10pm on HBO. Have a good week.

My brush with history

The year was 68 and Bobby Kennedy was campaigning in Oregon for President.....It was a very exciting time with Kennedy traveling all over the state. He made a little restaurant in Newport Or famous by saying their clam chowder beat his favorite in Cape Cod Mass.

That restaurant was Mo's and they received nation wide press on that visit.

I was 15 years old in 1968 and when Kennedy stumped in Portland. I found out where Kennedy was staying from my Mothers beautician who told me that she would be helping Ethel Kennedy with her hair at the Benson Hotel. I started calling the hotel trying my best to scam my way upstairs to meet Kennedy. It was one call after another, and I was amazed that someone would actually pick up the phone. Each time I called there was a buzz of activity in the background on the phone....I told a press rep of Kennedy's that I would like to record an interview with Mr Kennedy and that I worked for a radio station in town (I was doing weekends on a 1,000 watt flame thrower in Gresham Oregon!).....Well to my complete surprise a lady took the phone and told me to come up to the floor where Kennedy was staying and they would try to get me the interview. I took the bus downtown with my portable ampex tape recorder and made my way into the Benson feeling like a big shot news reporter. A security guard called up to the floor and after many minutes of waiting they took me up the elevator. The floor was just jammed with staff members, it was very hectic. They took me to a room and told me to wait. Who walks into the room? The famous Pierre Salinger who was JFK's Press Secretary and later RFK's. He walked in wearing a white shirt with his sleeves rolled up and a cigar in his hand. It is as vivid as the day this happened.

He was really nice & knew this teenage kid had no media juice to offer...But told me that Kennedy would not be available for an interview but he would take a few questions...and after we recorded he would have an aide take me downstairs and would place me to meet Kennedy first as he would come off the elevator in the grand lobby of the Benson. I asked him a few questions about Sen McCarthy who was neck to neck with Kennedy at the time in the Oregon primary. He shook my hand and came through with the placement in the lobby. It seemed like I stood forever in that space, as it was starting to fill with supporters. Finally the doors opened and the first to exit was Kennedy's dog "Freckles"......He came roaring out into the lobby followed by Salinger, Edith Green and a few other Oregon Democrats.......and then came Kennedy wearing a pale blue suit, white shirt & blue tie. He was tanned and looked really great from his days down on the Oregon coast. He walked straight towards me and stopped to shake my hand. He said something about 'Pierre tells me your a newsman her in Oregon....nice to meet you, I'm Robert Kennedy"......and then on to the string of others in the lobby. As he made his exit out the revolving Benson doors, Freckles took off up Broadway! Kennedy was ready to get into the car and stopped to see what happened to his dog! There was a flurry of chaos getting the dog back and then the caravan of cars took off. Kennedy shocked everyone losing the primary to McCarthy. Many felt that by not debating him in Oregon was a huge mistake. A few days later he took California and was on his way.....My Brother & I stayed up very late watching Sander Vanoucher bringing in the results on the network. We watched Kennedy accept his win at the podium in the Ambassador Hotel....and we watched in total shock seeing Kennedy get shot live on TV at around 1am in the morning.....Kennedy was rushed to Good Samaritan Hospital where he died the next day. I will never forget my day with the Kennedy campaign in Oregon. This story shows how lax security was in 1968. Nobody ever looked in my recorder case or checked me out!

My day in paradise

Ho..Humm..Not much to report....A friend emailed me the other day and commented that I would get stuck for ideas to blog....I did not pay much attention to that, but now I'm in a blog slump. What interesting things happened to me today? Nothing really. A day lost to meaningless stuff.

So who should I pick on in this daily entry? Who else but Paris Hilton.

She does not hold a candle to Anna Nicole, but after reading a expose in Vanity Fair magazine I learned quite a bit about Americas most spoiled girl. The story really puts the Nikon lens on her stuck up Mom Kathy Hilton who will do just about anything to get the photo-op. From the moment Kathy's kids were infants she stuck them in the spotlight. Paris's Mom never got her break in modeling that she expected, but she did hit the bank by marrying Rick Hilton who has never had anything to do with the Hilton Hotel empire. Yes he is a Hilton and feeds off the money train, but in reality Rick is a Realtor in Beverly Hills.

Rick was the 6th child born to Barron Hilton. In 1981 they had Paris and nick-named her "Star" from the moment she was hatched. Her Mom would pair her with celebs showing up at parties in New York & L.A so she would be incorporated in the publicity mix...but it was the release of the sex tapes when her career really took off into the stratosphere. From that moment on she was getting paid 50k to 100k just to show up at club openings or to keep a nightclub warm (industry term).....Then endorsements came with make up-perfume-reality TV show etc etc. Now Mom is in the chips with her own show up & wave business getting a measly 5k for an appearance.....plus a skin care endorsement deal that was just signed. They need the dough...Rick Hilton only gets 400k a year from the family trust, this might change since Blackstone group just made an offer for Hilton worldwide for 26 billion bucks and he will get his share of that apple pie. Through the years they never had the private jet or big yacht, this family hitched rides with families richer than them and were perceived as being in that league. It has been a big dog & pony show with this family. Paris has been the bread winner...or should I say BED winner!

Lindsay Lohan's story is part of this big feature in the mag, but boring in comparison to the Hilton scams. I feel this has been a cop out since nothing happened that was at all interesting in my day but I hope you enjoyed learning about a girl who has really done absolutely nothing for mankind. Friday I will start my day at Stumptown Roasters because I have become an anti Starbucks customer. I want to read my paper in a coffee shop that at least smells like one.

I like Fridays...because the new movies get released & I usually will catch one with my honey. The Business Journal arrives on Friday & I enjoy seeing who's suing who in town & for what....I also enjoy all the lies in that rag. All these business guys & gals lie through their teeth in the feature stories. I get a kick out of that. Friday is my favorite day of the week.......Phil Stanford has his column that is the best thing in print and coffee tastes better on Friday mornings. I just hope when I'm sitting there nobody disturbs me,....other than a guy named "Pops" who hangs out at a downtown coffee haunt. Pops looks like a street bum in appearance but is really loaded. He lives downtown in an apartment and walks around the city and smokes expensive cigars. He was a depression kid and has great stories. A few days ago "Pops" told me that Prince Harry & the good looking one are uncircumcised! Pops can get away with that stuff....Good source for a future blog......later.

CABARET MY A**

Tonight we went to see the play "Cabaret" at the new venue here in Portland. We were four minutes late, the lady would not let us in....She told us to watch the TV screen in the lobby and when they would roar with applause we could go in but sit in the very back of the theatre and then at intermission we could take our seats....Fine...Ok....So the crowd applauds and this freaky lady lets us in & seats us against the wall.

After a few minutes the guy sitting next to my Wife starts coughing...hacking...coughing....clearing his throat....(SICKENING!!!!!!!!!!)......I keep giving him the Larry David look as he infects all of us so he can see this dreadful presentation of gay guys running around in their underwear with combat boots on.

PLUS...we were kind of excited to see Storm in her first role on stage. She was just so-so....Very un-appealing on stage and her voice is not geared for this type of foo-foo play. This girl needs to rock. Back to the schmuck sitting next to my wife....He can't stop coughing....other people in the crowd are also hacking away....Shit...It was like we were in the respiratory ward at a clinic. Half time finally arrived and my wife was upset because I was making comments and giving the sick guy creepy looks. As I get older, I think more about germs & infections than ever before. She could not face sitting next to me for the rest of the misery.....We went to PF Changs and had faux Chinese food. She was a great sport about it. I feel bad that I ruined her evening at the Theatre because she liked the play more than me. Why do sick people come out at night anyway?

That guy got the asshole award for the week.....Well..the week is not over.

Here is what 600 MILLION will buy you!

The photo does not do proper justice to this new development! Why? Because a camera can't capture the size of this boondoggle. It will be the size of Vatican City and will be the worlds most expensive and lavish Embassy in the world. Your looking at the U.S Govt brand spanking new Embassy in Iraq!!!!!!! This massive cash cow comes complete with 619 blast resistant apartments, a food court 10x bigger than in a major mall, 849 executive offices, 72 kitchens and it just goes on & on folks. This is the only project being built in Iraq that will be completed on time! Hey...the people living in their own shit in Iraq don't need running water and power...heck no! But the Govt wants their embassy and they are getting it.

Haliburton are smart developers, they placed the living quarters & exec offices facing the beautiful & serene Tigris River. It's a 600 million dollar deal & will run 1.2 BILLION a year to operate & fund. Did I forget to mention the 7 beauty shops, movie theatre, tennis courts, 6 pools, spa and a department store??????

Do you think I'm bluffing you and making this up? It is all true. We are not leaving Iraq....NEVER. Just imagine what the tab will be for Art in this gigantic compound. The Govt never spares any change when it comes to featuring magnificent art in these buildings......To paint a vivid picture for you...this new U.S embassy will take up 104 acres (that's 80 football fields).....Wonder if it will have it's own zip code just like the Vatican? People say to me all the time "This country is going to go broke"....it is BROKE.