Halloweird

Wow...What a day....I'm drained. Let me back up....When I grew up my Brother & I (along with friends) Parents with other Parents did the Trick or Treat thing after the sun set. We schlepped around the hood with our candy baskets and wearing the costumes. It was fun back then. Today the world's stupidest Parents ever are dragging their little goblins around in a MALL at {{{{{{ARE YOU READY FOR THIS}}}}}}??????????? 10 am in the morning! I work in a major regional mall & did not arrive to my store until after noon.....but the staff told me shocking news. At 10am they were walking them in to get candy. I don't get their point about how un-safe it is in their own neighborhood. Where do they live? Baghdad Iraq? They don't know a few nice neighbors that would not think of inserting razor blades in the candy apples? So they drive to a stupid mall and walk into Gaps & Pottery Barns? Ok....so they bring them at night....but by 1pm today the shopping center sounded like the worlds largest day care center! It is just not natural to Trick or Treat in a big mall. The weather in Oregon has been off the charts GREAT.....No rain lately, no ice cold weather.....Tonight is the ultimate Halloween evening. These kids should be smelling the fresh air and ringing door bells of neighbors that can be trusted. I understand not allowing kids to be let loose running around at night with their buddies......but for gods sake.....GO WITH THEM......IN YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD.......Not in a

mall. It just isn't a good taste of Americana. Another thing that pisses me off are ADULTS that trick or treat. The doorbell rings and there stands two or more 6 foot adults. They should be sent to Bush's torture center in Cuba. That will teach em!

I was just thinking today about.........

What happened to the Bird Flu? There was one big rush on buying Tami-Flu to be the only one on your block not choking blood and dying a horrible death comparable to the final chapter in a Steven King horror novel! I was sure sold on the Bird Flu. The media had me really spooked thinking it was the beginning of the end. Did you know which famous person who was on the board of the company who makes Tami-Flu? It was the former Sec Of Defense Donald Rumsfield! Quite a coincidence that this was the same devil who botched Iraq with his pal Cheney and the lackey Pres Bush. We hardly ever hear of the Bird Flu anymore......sometimes a small story will appear on the back pages of the paper buried in the bottom section. Tami Flu raked in 400 million on sales of Tami Flu. What was Rummys cut on that? I figure my contribution was around $400 (and the date has expired now!)........The great flu could happen.....Next time the media beats the drum I will hide under the covers and not pay attention. On a subject not related to Bird Flu Virus at all, let me touch on the former Mayor & Governor of Oregon. If you do not live in Oregon you might not be aware that Neil Goldschmidt was having sex with a 13 year old girl (when he was Mayor of Portland)......This is a story that reads like fiction because his driver (who is currently the big dog Sheriff in town)....was having an affair with Goldschmidts wife Margie!!!!!!!!!!! Nobody ratted him out until it all un-raveled about a year ago or so. Our current creepy Governor also knew all about Goldschmidts fantasy that came true. If you want to read a great column by Portland's best writer Phil Stanford, check it out at www.portlandtribune.com

It is really an eye opener! And they all say Portland is a sleepy little town! Not.

GET READY TO RUMBLLLLLLEEEEEEE..............

A month ago or so I had this nasty Flu bug and stayed home for 8 or 9 days.....What do you do while fighting a nasty virus like this? Watch your wonderful TV with over 200 channels (75% plus crap).....But I got addicted to watching guys beat the brains out of each other. The sport has many different titles such as "Ultimate Fighting""Bodog Fighting" "Kickbox" etc. It comes in different flavors from in a traditional boxing ring to a cage.
I found the knock outs to be over the top..You kind of wince at it on the re-plays. The difference between WWF wrestling and this....is that THIS is REAL. Now lets fast forward a month and here I was drinking my coffee at Stumptown Roasters (downtown Portland) when an advertisement caught my eye about this form of ultimate violence coming to my town. I drove down to the Rose Garden Arena and bought a pair of tickets.
This would be a perfect Father & Son event! I called my Son Tyler and asked him if he wanted to go with me.
I knew for a fact that my wife would have no part in this blood sport. I was shocked to learn that Tyler knew so much about this sport which is one of the fastest growing in the nation! We stopped for some sushi before the fight and paid Paul Allens parking ransom & took our seats. The crowd was huge in this big venue. The show these promoters put on is stellar.....The ring announcer was as good as the best at Madison Square Garden......
And then it began...The first of 12 fights. The first few matches on the card were local guys trying to make their mark in this sport. They were great because of how hard they tried to kill their opponent. It is one thing to be under your warm covers in bed with a tissue in hand watching it on the tube....it is a whole lot different being there and hearing ribs crack and punches to the nose. It is also a whole new game seeing the amount of blood that flows. By the end of the evening the mat was splattered with blood flow! I kid you not. It was great when the ring announcer built up the bios of the fighters and they made their way through the arena with their corner crew carrying a bucket! That's it folks.,..just a bucket. These guys are really tough when they go nose to nose as the ref lays down a few rules...and the bell rings & they start kicking-punchin with their hands-knees & legs.
It was like when the old Batman shows aired and on the screen appeared "POW" "SMACK" "OUCH!"....remember that? One guy took it two rounds and never hardly landed a punch. The opponent plummeted him to the point of his mouth piece hanging half way & there it came...LIGHTS OUT! I thought he killed this unfortunate chap. He layed there for a while with blood coming from his ear.....as the crowd thundered with a deafening noise. They had two intermissions for the tough monkeys in the crowd to tank up more on beer.
The yelling from the crowd was worth the price of admission. It was also interesting to see young ladies who wanted to touch the fighters as they left the ring. You would be shocked at the Bodog groupies that show up for these fights. Their skimpy gloves are like skins & when they walk from their fight most have blood & guts on their hands....These girls wanted to shake their hand & get high fives! It was a real experience. Would I want to go back again and see more. Your damn right I would.

www.bodoglife.net

to learn more!

I never attended a University so this is in no way a jealousy thing towards all you graduates out there. The college thing was not meant for me and I really do not regret not going. To be honest....I detested every minute of school starting in pre-school! But here is what really gets me.....grown ups that hang college or professional sports team flags from their homes especially on game days. What drives a mature person to hang these stupid reminders of when the beer flow was endless and the parties never were better. But now your 40 plus years of age...GIVE IT UP. Even worse are couples that wear matching team jackets.....or a grown up wearing a team shirt with the players name on the back. I think these guys secretly would like to have a sexual experience with these players. They will never admit this, but I believe it. I don't watch sports. I could care less who wins. It's a game that will be forgotten within hours or a few days. I enjoy ultimate kick boxing. That is a sport that delivers (NOT a happy ending) pain, blood and sensational knock outs. Watching football? You couldn't pay me $100 cash to sit through a game.
Hockey? make it a grand. Golf...no price would be large enough. Sports and College are a match for many people.....Not me. Here's my list of things that make me happy
* Watching Curb your Enthusiasm or Soprano re-runs
* Reading newspapers & great books
* Smoking a cigar on Sunday morning with the Cigar boys at Shilo Inn
* Watching my wife tap dance (very sexy) & her excellent dinners
* When American Idol makes it's return
* Going to the post office
* Going to the Ore Coast (anytime)
* Listening to Sirius radio (channel 75)
other stuff.....but I'm bored now. Have a good weekend and if you hang a college or sports team flag on your house...take it down.

LBJ WAS ONE OF A KIND

Was browsing through a off beat magazine the other day and came across a feature story on Pres Lyndon B. Johnson who lived in the shadow of the young charismatic Kennedy. Johnson wanted to be remembered as the greatest President who ever lived. Well...that was before he was trapped into the throngs of the Viet Nam war. The story gets deep into LBJ's closet of secrets. Let me touch on a few highlights........Johnson was really into his oval office bathroom. He held many meetings with his staff in the chief head. Once he even relieved himself on a leg of a Secret Service Man. He loved dragging in the meek staffers to go over important (for your eyes only) documents while he was crapping on the can. When Johnson was visiting his ranch in Texas, he would invite friends down for a joyride in his car. He would drive down a steep dangerous incline toward a lake...He would yell "Shit ..the brakes..the brakes".....while his passengers screamed in horror as the car dropped right into the deep water! Johnson never told them he was the proud owner of the Amphicar, the only amphibious car ever mass produced for civilians. When his political pals would stop by and gossip about JFK's female conquests, he would pound his fist on the desk and scream "Why I had more women on accident than he ever had on purpose" He might be right, Johnson had a stable of young gals, many staff members that had limited talents!

LBJ loved helicopter rides, so much that he had a vinyl helicopter seat in the the oval office. President Johnson was a real ego maniac....He had EVERYTHING monogrammed with his famous LBJ initials...towels, all of his french cuff shirts, even his underwear. LBJ was a real unique President. When he decided to not run for a full term he went into a state of depression.

The war took the air out of him. He lived out the rest of his life on the Johnson Ranch and was not very visible to the public. I think we will find our current President following LBJ's post Presidency in the same state of mind.

NEW MACYS SUCKS

We were excited to see the new Macy's Dept Store downtown. They had a pre-opening party tonight. We expected the store to be jammed .....It was quiet.

The store has zero magic. It is a white walled box with stuff hanging on displays. It was depressing for me, as I grew up going to M&F as a kid. I thought they would pull out the stops with a cutting edge store design. It is like a Mervyns with better lighting. To be honest, the lights are so damn bright in there it is blinding. They kept the clock and I think a few escalators are from the hey days. The other mind blower were the show windows. No thought was put into them. None! Another big faceless chain. Would never make the trip back into the meth zone to shop there. Why? They have made it totally blah.

TIMES ARE A CHANGIN.....KIDS!

I was cruising down the highway this morning listening to Sirius Satellite radio

(oldies channel) with Cousin Brucie Morrow hosting a terrific countdown show.

The Fab 4 came on with "I want to hold your hand".....For some reason, I never get tired or burned out singing along to those lyrics that pretty much changed the world in 64. I scanned the channel and it landed on a Rap station. Sirius has a host of them, and I have no clue why since they sound identical in sound & presentation. The lyrics had something to do with murdering a cop and slap bitching a girl. Just look at the world of difference of the two photos taken 43 years apart from each other! To show you and verify that the world has slumped to an all time low...I have printed the difference in lyrics from the days we were holding hands, happy together & dancing to Louie Louie and today....killing the cracker & beating a girlfriend to death. I'm no prude & love all types of music....but I can't listen to that garbage for even a half minute. It is pure certified shit.

1964:

I feel happy inside,

It's such a feeling-That my love can't hide,

Yeh you got something,

I think you'll understand,

I want to hold your hand

2007

Cracker in my way,

filling his body up with lead,

slitting his throat, watch that body shake

sittin on the dock of the bay with my AK

OR THIS DIDDY WE CAN SING TO;

Time to prey on old bitches who drive Mercedes,

You should of heard that bitch screaming,

while I stick that gun in her crackers mouth,

cops can't stop it, mass hysteria, led by this motherfucker menace,

grab that glock and knock it in her head...pop pop pop...yeahhhhhhh.

what happened to this.....

So happy together...so how is the weather....

me and you..and you and me...

no matter how they toss the dice, it has to be the only one for me....

so Happy Together.....

or

Two girls for everyyyyyy boyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!

Jan & Dean really were terrific were they not?

WANTED....IN 5 WESTERN STATES FOR BEING DIRTY

Yeah this is my pal...Guess what his nick name is? DIRTY DAVE (The Record Slave)...My good friend pictured above has been a record collector since he was a kid. Today this freak has a master collection of over 90,000 records. He also does mobile DJ shows and is one of the only reliable guys doing it. He has done hundreds of shows for weddings, Bar Mitzvahs, birthdays (you get the idea!)......Dirty loves the Taco House and we meet there now & then & he always has the exact same thing.

Dirty is one street wise dude. He can see a con artist from a mile away......Dirty will not wear a coat when its 30 degrees out. When I took this mug shot of him, he knew I was up to no good.....I play practical gags on Dirty all the time. I can't get Dirty to try different foods....He is very set in his ways. Dirty is a Grand Father now.....Has a real cute little girl. Dirty & his Wife are enjoying that
"oooooooh she is so cute" stuff. I have had dreams of Dirty as a guest on a game show where Wink Martindale asks him " In 1963 a rock band was selected over the Beatles during an audition to be signed on a record label...which band was it for One Million Dollars.......(then the clock ticks & Dirty puts his finger to his forehead thinking....and belts out...THE TREMELOES! and the crowd goes nuts & confetti drops from the studio ceiling!!!! You see....Dirty is a walking encyclopedia when it comes to the rock n roll....You can ask him what is the flip side of a 1950's Buddy Holly 45 RPM and he will nail it....and he will add where the "A" side charted and how many weeks it made it after going hit bound. When I was doing a oldies show on the radio, my friend Dirty showed up for almost every gig.....bringing boxes of songs in that the radio station never had....Listeners would love trying to stump him on trivia....He became a big part of the show...and when Dirty had to do a mobile dj gig, the radio show lost it's steam. Dirty Dave is a special pal. Hey it was the Tremeloes right Dirty?

ROSEBURG OREGON....YOU ROCK!

If you live in the liberal-socialistic state of Oregon the photo you see above is a common sighting at just about any freeway interchange that includes a stop by the happy motorist. These clowns actually OWN their real estate. That is why you see the same losers day after day taking in an average of $50 to $100 cash a day. On the down side that's $1,400 non taxable cash in the pocket per month.
Many of these people who panhandle at off ramps are managed by what is called the "Coin Mafia".....The ringleaders have vans and pick up their professional panhandlers & drop them off at their locations. If another beggar wants in on that real estate the bosses will beat the shit out of them. Ever wonder why the same faces & signs are at the same locations day after day...week after week? Ok...today a story in the Sunday paper made me grin from ear to ear...In Roseburg Oregon they have become the first SMART city to pass a new ordinance to stop this ridiculous racket. Ready for this? If the DRIVER hands the panhandler coin....they get the ticket! Yahoooooooo! I get more pissed at the idiots who hand these racketeers cash out of their window than the panhandlers themselves! What fools these people are. Violators will get a $75 ticket handed to their stupid asses. One panhandler said that before this came into effect, he was getting $20 bills all the time...now he is lucky to get a buck. The day Portland City Hall follows this genius program will be the day hell freezes over! The socialist commies that run City Hall would think this is picking on the homeless! I'm writing a letter of thanks to the leaders in Roseburg. Trouble is...now all the creeps will be trucking to Portland and jumping on any un-used real estate!

Here is today's fun fact:
Walt Disney named Mickey Mouse after Mickey Rooney, whos Mother he dated for some time. Walt was also the first original voice of Mickey.

SAY GOODBYE TO THIS TRADITION!

I love going to the Post Office, yes I admit this with great anticipation for just strolling in & seeing the staff that have worked there for years. I like it when there are 20 people in line and Eddie & I talk about the latest Jazz album that just came out.....or his views on Hillary Care! They get pissed, but they are the ones that don't know Eddie. He thinks she is the biggest fraud out there, you see Eddie is a smart guy. This Internet world of e-mails is terrific and serves zillions of people a day (including me!).....but nothing will replace getting a letter in the mail with an old fashioned stamp on it. Theres the mystery of what lays inside etc etc. So here is my point for this blog. I'm at the Post Office the other day and Eddie helps me get this package sealed up correctly to mail to my Son & Daughter-in law down in Southern Cal. It is a real art taping up a package & he could see that I was struggling with it. So he brings out the glue tape and the cup of water to get it done correctly. That's SERVICE folks! We get talking and I ask him when he will be retiring. Eddie tells me that the powers that be at the U.S Postal Service want him to take early retirement. I ask him why (because this place will be lost when this guy goes fishing)......He explains that this Christmas he will be pretty much alone behind the counter & our wonderful Government will be out sourcing most of the Post Offices. He pointed out an example. Up the street we have a grocery store and in that building is a post office annex. But I don't trust Grocery Store clerks with my packages & stuff! It's not that they are dis-honest, but what do they know about the secrets of Postal madness? These people are paid by the Grocery Store to work in this faux U.S Post Office. He said that their master plan is to have machines that Customers will use (they have 1 in there now) to weigh packages, buy stamps etc and have one clerk. But he thinks more machines will replace great guys like Eddie who knows his Customers and loves what he does. Half the time those stupid machines don't even work! So it's coming folks....Post Offices in shops operated by Phil the guy that knows everything about lettuce and pork chops but knows squat about the Postal Biz. How sad is this Blog today? Damn sad.
I asked him if they will hire temp-help workers, he said no way...He is terrified that Customers standing with their big packages for an hour or two will be mad as hell at him! at HIM! You might think that the stereotype Postal worker behind the counter could care less about service, customers etc...But theres one guy that really has a passion for the world of mailing...and that's my Eddie.

BUY YOURSELF A PRESIDENT

Today a young person of voting age told me that he would never vote because it's all based on how much money they receive from never ending fund raising.
I could see his point in many ways....The candidate with the most bread has the best chance of winning. It is sad that this young fellow will not vote, nothing is perfect in this great society but I still think it's the best deal out there. I can also understand how this mentality has started a wave of the next generation. We do not have exciting political people running anymore. Take Jack Kennedy for example.....He told us what was his plan was for the future...He gave a feeling of hope not despair. His Brother would of ended the Viet Nam war....Reagan was a ray of light after the four years of pathetic Jimmy Carter freezing in his White House sweater....Today what do we have to offer? Obama? He is a joke in comparison to the candidates of yester-year. Hillary Clinton is arrogant & in real life very nasty....plus she is a first class liar. One candidate that does not have good camera appeal or any money is Ron Paul....He actually makes some sense & is not afraid to make his claim (what does he have to lose?).....So the apathy has set in America. They are all full of humma-humma.....lost promises and horrible campaigns that are not energizing the country. I can guarantee you that next year when the big important debates begin if American Idol is on, nobody will care to hear Hillary pitch her Govt controlled health plan that is FREE FREE FREE! Shut up you old slut.
Listed below is a link to see where all the cash comes from & who it goes to.
Yeah...they give all that bread for the good of the country. And I have land to sell you in Baghdad

http://www.opensecrets.org/orgs/list.asp?order=A

What is it about Bow Ties?

I received a text message from a close pal today that read " Never trust a guy wearing a bow tie".....I chuckled at that one & shot him back a reply that said "Or guys that say all the time (when trying to make their point) AT THE END OF THE DAY.....blah blah blah...

But then I got thinking about his brilliant comment on guys wearing Bow Ties...For the most part, I try to avoid picking on people about what they wear or how they appear. I'm sure not going to win any Mr GQ awards, yet whenever I see a guy wearing a bow tie, these thoughts flash in my mind.....POMPOUS-CONNIVING-THINKS HE IS SMARTER THAN THE REST OF THE PLANET-NEVER HAD A GREAT SEX SESSION WITH A GIRL.........Honest...that is my read on guys who wear these stupid contraptions. The only guy I liked wearing a bow tie was Orville Redenbacher. He was able to pull it off & it is not easy! That putz on cable Tucker Carlson is the opposite. You hate this guy more just because of his bow tie. Groucho wore a bow tie and he looked great.....I once had to see a nose -ear throat specialist and he was famous for his kooky bow ties. He gave me wrong advise & I called and chewed him out....also told him he looked ridiculous wearing the bow ties.....Sen Paul Simon wore one all the time.....have no clear thoughts on him one way or another. I have no clue who these idiots are in the photo (captured on google)...but let's appraise them left to right...The guy on the far left looks like the most normal of the bunch...good sense of humor & carries a bow tie quite good....The older guy with the Santa beard is very opinionated and you will never change it. The dude in the blue sweater was a big shot in College and still lives through those golden days...On game day he will put up his college flag (another pet peeve of mine)....On his license plate frame it most likely says "Reed College Alumni".....The noodnic on the far right is everything I can't stomach about men wearing a bow tie. That's all for today.

READING BACKWARDS!

NOW YOU TOO CAN READ A NOVEL BACKWARDS!

Very strange thing happened to me today.

My Mom stops in at the office with a good friend of hers. We get talking about our common love of reading books and she let's this out of the bag.....(quote)

"I read the beginning of a book and then ready the final chapter so I know how it ends...and then I go back & ready the book from where I let off at the start"

Now..In no way am I picking on my Moms pal...she is very nice & I got a kick out of talking with her but have you ever heard of such a thing? Why in the world would you want to know the end of a great novel or even a biography or non fiction book. But let's talk about incredible novels like "Water for Elephants" or my latest top pick "The Law of Dreams"{{{HOW COULD YOU SPOIL IT FOR YOURSELF TO READ THE END BEFORE THE MIDDLE???}}}}.......Anyway...I found that to be the most incredible moment of my day today. There is a first for everything I guess, and I'm sure my Moms friend is not the only reader in the world who finds out what happens before you earn that right to finish off the last 20 or 30 pages of a terrific read. What else went on today? Started back at the Gym. It was a good feeling to sweat a little, instead of watching senseless reality shows on the boob tube. That's all for today Boys & Girls....Crowd around the ol computer screen tomorrow for another exciting blog in the life of the Stumptown Blogger.

Sunday Living

Day started out at a local haunt where a group of friends have been meeting for over 10 years...We have breakfast at 8:30 and chat about what is going on in this crazy world...and then light up a great Cigar. You read it right...8:30 AM (almost) every Sunday morning. Then I picked up my beautiful wife & we headed out to a outlet center a few miles from Portland. I like the Brooks Bros outlet shop for slacks.....walked around.....drove a clerk crazy looking at brief cases...I'm almost to the point of stalking luggage stores searching for the right attache case.....This poor kid took everyone of them down & was a great salesman (he knew his product which is rare these days!).....but we walked on him. Then we caught the latest western starring Brad Pitt where he plays the infamous Jesse James. The movie is a long stretch and moves slow. I wouldn't say it is horrible, but it does not hold a candle to 3:10 to Yuma. Westerns are making a huge comeback and this one gets interesting during the final 25 minutes. I want to share something with you about our trips to the movie theatre. We love movies (not at home with DVD'S) .....but in a theatre with popcorn and a soda. I have been taking my Blonde bombshell to movies for over 30 years and not once has she started to so much as finger a kernel of her popcorn until the movie begins. When the Paramount or Touchstone logo appears she will ask "Is this it?".....I'm always honest with her....Yes I say...this is it! My popcorn bag is 1/3 evaporated by then...after all we sat through all those great previews. I enjoy previews, but since we see two movies average a week...it is a bummer seeing the same ones over & over.......like the new Denzel Washington film. They are really pushing that one already. But back to the popcorn .....it really does take tons of restraint not to eat one kernel of warm delicious popcorn. Our day will end with our favorite TV show of all time "Curb your Enthusiasm" which airs at 10pm on HBO. Have a good week.

My brush with history

The year was 68 and Bobby Kennedy was campaigning in Oregon for President.....It was a very exciting time with Kennedy traveling all over the state. He made a little restaurant in Newport Or famous by saying their clam chowder beat his favorite in Cape Cod Mass.

That restaurant was Mo's and they received nation wide press on that visit.

I was 15 years old in 1968 and when Kennedy stumped in Portland. I found out where Kennedy was staying from my Mothers beautician who told me that she would be helping Ethel Kennedy with her hair at the Benson Hotel. I started calling the hotel trying my best to scam my way upstairs to meet Kennedy. It was one call after another, and I was amazed that someone would actually pick up the phone. Each time I called there was a buzz of activity in the background on the phone....I told a press rep of Kennedy's that I would like to record an interview with Mr Kennedy and that I worked for a radio station in town (I was doing weekends on a 1,000 watt flame thrower in Gresham Oregon!).....Well to my complete surprise a lady took the phone and told me to come up to the floor where Kennedy was staying and they would try to get me the interview. I took the bus downtown with my portable ampex tape recorder and made my way into the Benson feeling like a big shot news reporter. A security guard called up to the floor and after many minutes of waiting they took me up the elevator. The floor was just jammed with staff members, it was very hectic. They took me to a room and told me to wait. Who walks into the room? The famous Pierre Salinger who was JFK's Press Secretary and later RFK's. He walked in wearing a white shirt with his sleeves rolled up and a cigar in his hand. It is as vivid as the day this happened.

He was really nice & knew this teenage kid had no media juice to offer...But told me that Kennedy would not be available for an interview but he would take a few questions...and after we recorded he would have an aide take me downstairs and would place me to meet Kennedy first as he would come off the elevator in the grand lobby of the Benson. I asked him a few questions about Sen McCarthy who was neck to neck with Kennedy at the time in the Oregon primary. He shook my hand and came through with the placement in the lobby. It seemed like I stood forever in that space, as it was starting to fill with supporters. Finally the doors opened and the first to exit was Kennedy's dog "Freckles"......He came roaring out into the lobby followed by Salinger, Edith Green and a few other Oregon Democrats.......and then came Kennedy wearing a pale blue suit, white shirt & blue tie. He was tanned and looked really great from his days down on the Oregon coast. He walked straight towards me and stopped to shake my hand. He said something about 'Pierre tells me your a newsman her in Oregon....nice to meet you, I'm Robert Kennedy"......and then on to the string of others in the lobby. As he made his exit out the revolving Benson doors, Freckles took off up Broadway! Kennedy was ready to get into the car and stopped to see what happened to his dog! There was a flurry of chaos getting the dog back and then the caravan of cars took off. Kennedy shocked everyone losing the primary to McCarthy. Many felt that by not debating him in Oregon was a huge mistake. A few days later he took California and was on his way.....My Brother & I stayed up very late watching Sander Vanoucher bringing in the results on the network. We watched Kennedy accept his win at the podium in the Ambassador Hotel....and we watched in total shock seeing Kennedy get shot live on TV at around 1am in the morning.....Kennedy was rushed to Good Samaritan Hospital where he died the next day. I will never forget my day with the Kennedy campaign in Oregon. This story shows how lax security was in 1968. Nobody ever looked in my recorder case or checked me out!

My day in paradise

Ho..Humm..Not much to report....A friend emailed me the other day and commented that I would get stuck for ideas to blog....I did not pay much attention to that, but now I'm in a blog slump. What interesting things happened to me today? Nothing really. A day lost to meaningless stuff.

So who should I pick on in this daily entry? Who else but Paris Hilton.

She does not hold a candle to Anna Nicole, but after reading a expose in Vanity Fair magazine I learned quite a bit about Americas most spoiled girl. The story really puts the Nikon lens on her stuck up Mom Kathy Hilton who will do just about anything to get the photo-op. From the moment Kathy's kids were infants she stuck them in the spotlight. Paris's Mom never got her break in modeling that she expected, but she did hit the bank by marrying Rick Hilton who has never had anything to do with the Hilton Hotel empire. Yes he is a Hilton and feeds off the money train, but in reality Rick is a Realtor in Beverly Hills.

Rick was the 6th child born to Barron Hilton. In 1981 they had Paris and nick-named her "Star" from the moment she was hatched. Her Mom would pair her with celebs showing up at parties in New York & L.A so she would be incorporated in the publicity mix...but it was the release of the sex tapes when her career really took off into the stratosphere. From that moment on she was getting paid 50k to 100k just to show up at club openings or to keep a nightclub warm (industry term).....Then endorsements came with make up-perfume-reality TV show etc etc. Now Mom is in the chips with her own show up & wave business getting a measly 5k for an appearance.....plus a skin care endorsement deal that was just signed. They need the dough...Rick Hilton only gets 400k a year from the family trust, this might change since Blackstone group just made an offer for Hilton worldwide for 26 billion bucks and he will get his share of that apple pie. Through the years they never had the private jet or big yacht, this family hitched rides with families richer than them and were perceived as being in that league. It has been a big dog & pony show with this family. Paris has been the bread winner...or should I say BED winner!

Lindsay Lohan's story is part of this big feature in the mag, but boring in comparison to the Hilton scams. I feel this has been a cop out since nothing happened that was at all interesting in my day but I hope you enjoyed learning about a girl who has really done absolutely nothing for mankind. Friday I will start my day at Stumptown Roasters because I have become an anti Starbucks customer. I want to read my paper in a coffee shop that at least smells like one.

I like Fridays...because the new movies get released & I usually will catch one with my honey. The Business Journal arrives on Friday & I enjoy seeing who's suing who in town & for what....I also enjoy all the lies in that rag. All these business guys & gals lie through their teeth in the feature stories. I get a kick out of that. Friday is my favorite day of the week.......Phil Stanford has his column that is the best thing in print and coffee tastes better on Friday mornings. I just hope when I'm sitting there nobody disturbs me,....other than a guy named "Pops" who hangs out at a downtown coffee haunt. Pops looks like a street bum in appearance but is really loaded. He lives downtown in an apartment and walks around the city and smokes expensive cigars. He was a depression kid and has great stories. A few days ago "Pops" told me that Prince Harry & the good looking one are uncircumcised! Pops can get away with that stuff....Good source for a future blog......later.

CABARET MY A**

Tonight we went to see the play "Cabaret" at the new venue here in Portland. We were four minutes late, the lady would not let us in....She told us to watch the TV screen in the lobby and when they would roar with applause we could go in but sit in the very back of the theatre and then at intermission we could take our seats....Fine...Ok....So the crowd applauds and this freaky lady lets us in & seats us against the wall.

After a few minutes the guy sitting next to my Wife starts coughing...hacking...coughing....clearing his throat....(SICKENING!!!!!!!!!!)......I keep giving him the Larry David look as he infects all of us so he can see this dreadful presentation of gay guys running around in their underwear with combat boots on.

PLUS...we were kind of excited to see Storm in her first role on stage. She was just so-so....Very un-appealing on stage and her voice is not geared for this type of foo-foo play. This girl needs to rock. Back to the schmuck sitting next to my wife....He can't stop coughing....other people in the crowd are also hacking away....Shit...It was like we were in the respiratory ward at a clinic. Half time finally arrived and my wife was upset because I was making comments and giving the sick guy creepy looks. As I get older, I think more about germs & infections than ever before. She could not face sitting next to me for the rest of the misery.....We went to PF Changs and had faux Chinese food. She was a great sport about it. I feel bad that I ruined her evening at the Theatre because she liked the play more than me. Why do sick people come out at night anyway?

That guy got the asshole award for the week.....Well..the week is not over.

Here is what 600 MILLION will buy you!

The photo does not do proper justice to this new development! Why? Because a camera can't capture the size of this boondoggle. It will be the size of Vatican City and will be the worlds most expensive and lavish Embassy in the world. Your looking at the U.S Govt brand spanking new Embassy in Iraq!!!!!!! This massive cash cow comes complete with 619 blast resistant apartments, a food court 10x bigger than in a major mall, 849 executive offices, 72 kitchens and it just goes on & on folks. This is the only project being built in Iraq that will be completed on time! Hey...the people living in their own shit in Iraq don't need running water and power...heck no! But the Govt wants their embassy and they are getting it.

Haliburton are smart developers, they placed the living quarters & exec offices facing the beautiful & serene Tigris River. It's a 600 million dollar deal & will run 1.2 BILLION a year to operate & fund. Did I forget to mention the 7 beauty shops, movie theatre, tennis courts, 6 pools, spa and a department store??????

Do you think I'm bluffing you and making this up? It is all true. We are not leaving Iraq....NEVER. Just imagine what the tab will be for Art in this gigantic compound. The Govt never spares any change when it comes to featuring magnificent art in these buildings......To paint a vivid picture for you...this new U.S embassy will take up 104 acres (that's 80 football fields).....Wonder if it will have it's own zip code just like the Vatican? People say to me all the time "This country is going to go broke"....it is BROKE.

MY PET PEEVES

This ass to my left is a pet peeve priority. His voice pukes on the air and he thinks his one liners are actually funny. Nothing is funny about this Host of the popular show "Dancing with the Stars"....He got his start playing different monsters (wearing costumes) on Star Trek the next adventure....That's where he should of stayed.

He got very lucky with another human pet peeve Whoopie Goldberg selecting him as host of that stupid game show "Hollywood Squares".....Nothing personal...just cant stomach him on the tube. Now that I'm on a TV rant...how about local Anchors that make happy chit chat?

Do you tune in to see this? That is why Fox 12 in Portland wins so big at 10pm....They lay the bad news on you without all that bullshit in between. Now let's move on to telephone answering machines...What is your take on 2 year olds that record the message while hearing the proud parents laughing & thinking they have the next genius on their hands! Or.....

people who leave long & drawn out messages on their cell & home phones...Why not just say "This is me..leave your message" How many times have you heard that the sap is not at their desk or in the office....how they appreciate your call.....and have a great day...blah blah blah.....Couldn't you just scream?

Adults that wear matching racing jackets..or team logo jackets.........Do you think Drew Cary is ever funny? Lucky guy. People that talk during a movie at the theatre or bring little toddlers into a R rated movie....These parents should be shackled & taken away. Waiters that make a big deal about telling me their name....like I could care less what their name is! Enough....My Wife is going to give me hell over this blog. She wants me to be positive. Today I waited in line at the coffee shop and everyone knew exactly what they wanted to order when they made it to the cashier...That is positive baby!

Fundraising Machines

This money machine is out of control. I met a couple from Canada & they told me that in their country the candidates get a flat amount of cash to spend on their campaign....That's it folks! They are on equal ground when it comes to buying TV time. Their campaign stump time is also much less than these yahoos in the US running for years! Here is the latest tally in cash raised by fat cats to get what they want when their candidate wins. Are you sitting down for this? I did not make this up! Scouts honor.

CLINTON 80 Million

OBAMA 80 Million

EDWARDS 30 Million

RICHARDSON 18 Milllion

BIDEN 6 Million

DODD 8 Million

------------------------------------

RUDY 44 Million

ROMNEY 45 Million

McCAIN 30 Million

THOMPSON 13 Million

PAUL 8 Million

--------------------------------------

GRAND TOTAL 362 MILLION

AND IT IS ONLY OCTOBER 2007

My question is...Who gives Dodd 8 million smackers?

In comparison 8 mill is chump change to Hillary's war chest ....but who actually thinks Dodd or even Ron Paul (who actually makes the most sense of any of them) could win?

TODAY'S FUN FACT:

The average person spends about two years on the phone in a lifetime.

Great Bathroom Reading......

I found this at my favorite book shop last night...It is one of those fun books that has tons of useless but interesting information. I'm thinking of tagging my daily blogs with one each time, just so if my writing is totally useless and boring.
Here's a few samples from this book of official useless info.
*Ketchup originated in China! (so there John Kerrys wife!)

* Robert E Lee wore a size 4 shoe (Tell me if this guy didn't have Penis envy!)

* A baby Beaver stays with its parents for a period of two years (Those parents got off cheap)

* A typical double mattress contains as many as two million house dust mites(that's really comforting!)

*Debra Winger was the voice of E.T

* Michael Jackson is black (who would of figured!)

* Elvis weighed 267 pounds at the time of his passing on his toilet at Graceland
(that's a big hunk a love!)

* John F Kennedy could read four newspapers in twenty minutes (Our current Pres does not even subscribe to a newspaper)

* Pres John Tyler had 15 children! (What did this guy do in his spare time?"
or Grouchos famous line "I enjoy my cigar, but I take it out of my mouth once in a while!!!!!!)

* Ted Turner owns 5% of New Mexico

more later on future blogs....Have a nice weekend

IN ADDITION TO THE BLOG BELOW......

I wake up this morning to read that McDonalds has a master plan to make specialty coffee drinks in all of it's US restaurants by the end of 2008. You will find your favorite Java drinks in 1,500 McDonalds by the end of this year and the rest coming in 2008. McDonalds predicts it will add more than $1 billion a year to their revenue stream. So here you are ordering a disgusting Big Mac and fries (fries are terrific...no question!)....and a non fat Latte with a extra add shot of espresso! Imagine how crappy that is going to taste? America gets what they deserve! In comparison to Starbucks moving fast forward into the music business and not putting their focus on what made them famous "COFFEE"....
McDonalds will try to cash in on the coffee craze and we all know it will be horrible. What's next? See's Candy serving deli sandwiches? Stick with what you know & do the best at whatever it is. On another non-related note....its dark -gloomy and raining here in Portland. This is the start of months where Oregonians feel like they are living in grey cave. We won't see the sun until April. Can you imagine living like this? Sure we have the greenery, lakes, mountains and ocean beaches just 2 hrs away, but this gets old & quite depressing after doing the rain-drill for 54 years. It's time for a trip to the desert.....what worries me...this just started! We had a pretty nice summer here in Portland. Later.

THIS DOES NOT BELONG HERE~~~~~~~~~~~

So I'm waiting in line at my morning Starbuck stop and I'm weaving my way through two racks of Cd's and NOW a book display! I'm not there to buy the new Bruce CD or the book Kite Runner......I'm there to get my tall coffee with a add-shot! To make my visit more upsetting when I get to place my simple order, the Starbuck girl says "Here's your free Bob Dylan download".....I told her that she can keep her download & that if & when I decide to buy any music it will be at Music Millennium....Not on line, Not in a coffee shop...but at a RECORD STORE! Remember those???? She looked to the guy standing behind me & pitched him on his free download to I-Tunes......He was excited about it & said "Oh I love that Dylan song".....I couldn't take it any longer, so I turned to him in a quiet non-offending tone and said "Why would you want to expand their stake in the music business? Decline this offer & buy the CD at Music Millennium on east Burnside......I went on to explain that this is murdering the shop owners that made all those record labels & artists BILLIONS of dollar$$$$....Come on ..support the little guy! He replied "You have a point" and handed the certificate back to the robot who was working there. It is sad that STARBUCKS gets the first crack at music making their debut before record shops can get their share....It is sad that Starbucks does not even smell like a coffee shop anymore. That's right....Walk in & take a sniff the next time. You would think your .....in a record shop???????? I'm a Starbuck addict (no question)...I admit it & should get into a 5 step program. There is a local coffee shop in Portland making some big noise about their incredible roasting ability ....They are called STUMPTOWN ROASTERS....and the coffee is superb, but I do not have one in my area. The minute they open close by or even a short drive....Starbucks will be off my radar. I don't want to support them anymore. I'm tired of navigating through merchandising racks of stuff that has nothing related to what I'm there for....A cup of coffee.

How often does this happen?

If you are an avid book reader like me, it is quite special when you find a book that is so exceptional you can't stop thinking about the story and character's.

You walk into a Borders and 70% of the books they display in front are the junk reads by authors like James Patterson (who must spit a book out a month!) and Nicholas Sparks along with a ton of books by Women who write depressing crap about their dead kid or cheating husbands.....But when a book is purchased due to reading a stellar review, a recommendation or by just finding it by pure luck....Those books are never forgotten. My top 3 of all time are Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett, Prince of Tides by Pat Conroy, A Simple Plan by Scott Smith.....and then there are the Burkowski books that are in a league of their own. A few weeks ago a book recommendation came my way by a friend who has worked at Powells Book Store for many years....He could not stop raving about a novel based on fact that takes place in 1847 during the great hunger in Ireland. I was intrigued about this book so I bought it and could not put it down. It is a masterpiece by Peter Behrens. The title is "The Law of Dreams" and I inserted the link about this book & incredible Author. You can't go wrong with this extraordinary book.

http://www.peterbehrens.org/law_of_dreams.html